This grooming conversation never goes away, it just keeps taking on new forms. For the last few months, it’s been teachers, libraries, and Drag Queen Story Hours and now we’re talking about Nickelodeon. A week ago Investigation Discovery premiered the docuseries “Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV” featuring testimonies from former 90s and early 2000s Nickelodeon child stars, specifically kids who starred in Dan Schneider productions.
I won’t recap all four episodes for you, but we will take a minute to talk about Drake Bell who shared his story for the first time since a sentencing hearing in 2004. Early 40-something-year-old Brian Peck, a dialogue coach who worked and guest starred on multiple Nickelodeon productions sexually abused fifteen-year-old Drake Bell. He was arrested in 2003 and in 2004 was sentenced to 16 months in prison after pleading No Contest to two of the eleven charges. If you don’t, then your children will recognize Drake Bell from The Amanda Show and Drake and Josh, and if they’re unfortunate like me they will remember seeing Brian Peck’s face on All That.
Forty-one people, many of them celebrities and former child stars, wrote letters of support for Brian Peck, two of those celebrities were Rider Strong and Will Friedle from Boy Meets World. Someone from the documentary reached out to Rider and Will for a statement. While they declined to give a statement, they did release an episode of their podcast discussing Brian Peck, the sentencing hearing, the letter they wrote, why they wrote them, and grooming in general.
“Pod Meets World” details each episode of Boy Meets World and the show’s various guest stars. Brian Peck guest starred on at least two episodes in season 5 and worked as a stand-in. I’m not a parent, but I think every parent should watch the docuseries and listen to the podcast. YES, listen to the podcast. I understand you’re probably mad at Will and Rider, probably more than anyone else who wrote a letter, but I need you to put that anger aside and listen. Was releasing the episode a month before the docuseries aired a PR move? Yes, and they’re honest about it. Will and Rider make it clear they didn’t want to talk about it nor did they want to do the episode. Will and Rider, along with their cohost and former co-star Danielle Fishel, are joined by marriage and family therapist Kati Morton who acts as a navigator for what proves to be a difficult and incomprehensible conversation. How do you talk about being groomed when you didn’t know or didn’t think you were being groomed?
Here are a few of my key takeaways:
1.) It Can Happen to You
Hindsight is 20/20, even when you’re listening to the story for the first time. The clear red flags are among the hardest things to hear in Drake's story because you know how the story will end before he’s finished the first sentence. It’s easy to sit back and ask “Where are the parents,” but think about it for a second, Mom and Dad…where are you?
We live in a culture, society, and economy that encourages mothers to hand their infants to strangers once maternity leave is complete as if 12 weeks old is some magical age. You have to rush them through potty training so they’ll be ready for pre-K and this is to prepare them to spend a quarter of their every day without you for the next thirteen years. Who is caring for your children when you’re not around? Some of these parents are on set every day keeping a watchful eye on their children, but many drop them off or stay in a greenroom out of sight, and how is that any different from a regular parent dropping their kid off at school? It can happen to you.
2.) Power Dynamics are out of Balance
One thing I learned from the podcast was how out-of-wack power dynamics are in Hollywood, especially on television and movie sets. We all have a basic understanding of the hierarchy of authority and where children rank, but it makes sense that this would be hard to apply on a television set where children are the stars and carry a large percentage of authority. The three lead stars of Boy Meets World were between the ages of 12 and 14 when production started and entering their late teens and early 20s when the show ended. They were pubescent tweens and teens, who wanted to be seen as mature adults, surrounded by adults who treated them more like coworkers and bosses than children. When that line isn’t clearly drawn, and a normal childhood is a nuisance instead of a necessity, you get adults partying with children, forty-two-year-old directors dating their eighteen-year-old lead actor (Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, for example), and you get a seventeen-year-old kid building a friendship with a man in his late thirties (Rider Strong and Brian Peck).
3.) The Parents are the Target
Brian Peck wasn’t a snatch-and-grab predator. He played the long game. He met Drake Bell during the production of season two of The Amanda Show when he was thirteen or fourteen years old, but the abuse didn’t start until he was fifteen. How did he do it? He started with his parents. Drake’s parents were divorced, so his primary caregiver and manager at the time was his dad, but his dad was suspicious. He kept a pretty close eye on Drake and didn’t like the way Peck touched his son or inserted himself into his life. He could see something was wrong so he tried to keep some distance between Brian and his son. Brian Peck was determined, so he drove a wedge between Drake and his dad which eventually led to his mom replacing his dad as his manager. His mother was much more lax. Watch the above video again. Brian presented himself as a trustworthy figure, someone Drake’s mother could count on to pick up the slack and do the things she was either unable or didn’t want to do. Brian Peck played the long game. He was patient.
Predators who play the long game don’t start with the children because then the game is over too quickly. Children are people pleasers and like to keep the peace and the adults in their lives happy, so the best way to keep a child from speaking and upsetting their parents, cause predators are not stupid, is to first groom and manipulate the parents. You, Mom and Dad, are the target. If they can get through you, then they can get to your child.
What is grooming? To keep it simple, grooming is making someone comfortable with the inappropriate. As far as we know, Drake is the only one he abused, but he wasn’t the only one he groomed. He was a master manipulator who made himself seem trustworthy, helpful, and connected. How else would he get forty-one people to put their support in writing without wearing an intentionally, well-designed mask?
I’ve worked with kids of all ages, so I’ve learned a thing or two from experience concerning boundaries and safeguarding. I’ve worked at a daycare and two churches caring for children ages newborn to five years old. I have served in youth ministry since 2017, so weekly I’m with kids ages eleven to eighteen. Hear me when I say this and make sure you tell your kids:
1.) Safe adults don’t keep secrets with children
2.) Safe adults don’t keep things from parents
3.) Safe adults don’t treat children like they’re equals
4.) Safe adults don’t try to come between parents and children
Devastating as it is, especially for those who called these shows their childhood, we have to take the time to process it so we can better ourselves. Somewhere in this ugly, evil mess is a life-saving lesson for you and your child, and I hope you take the time to learn it.
This times a thousand:
1.) Safe adults don’t keep secrets with children
2.) Safe adults don’t keep things from parents
3.) Safe adults don’t treat children like they’re equals
4.) Safe adults don’t try to come between parents and children
Thank you for being a sane voice in this crazy world!
Every time without fail you bring wisdom and things you don't exactly think about the first time around. Thank you